Napoelon Hill outlined one of the following reasons (two, actually – therewere many, but I’ll mention TWO) as a cause for failure, or people not succeeding “yet” in The Laws of Success, and Think and Grow Rich.
Even if munee doesn’t interest you, well worth a read!
William Munee, the name pops up in mind, the crabby and yet inimitable Clint Eastwood that last I checked at the age of 80 plus could do one arm pushups and then some …
(if that doesnt shame the average tubby modern day male, I dont know what will?)
Anyway, he said the following.
One, wrong choice of spouse (he then went on to say that if either wife or husband let their interest for the other die out in them, it is on them).
Of course, the book wasn’t about divorce or one of Hill’s many failed relationships!
But that, my friend is exactly how things are sometimes.
Ever wonder why a lot of successful people are not just divorced ONCE, but twice, or several times?
Even the old timers. Even those “not from this day and age”.
It is not just “the modern lot”.
Some stay married, sure. Divorce ain’t a pre-requiste for either success or failure in my opinion!
But the second reason he stated was also this – “You cannot make excuses for your failure by saying “its because of your spouse, or smelly sock, or cruddy life, or so forth” …
(I’m being farcial here, but thats the point he made).
(no spouses aren’t smelly socks or what for the overly literal minded).
Anyway, many on my list have wondered, and I’ve never told ‘em, but I will now.
And a certain Carol often asked me.
“If she hates you that much, wont support you, why not divorce you and be done with it?”
Well simple enough.
Carol knew why.
But put in the same boat, Carol herself reacted differently. Her ex wanted a divorce, and she didn’t want to give him one.
Key being, MENTALLY MOVING ON.
She did it.
What do I mean?
Well, my friend, MENTALLY moving on from anything – disappointment – heartbreak – anything and using the residue of that emotion, or the emotion itself to spur you on to greater success is probably one of the many lessons this lady taught me, and she had no idea she was doing so or things wouldn’t have turned out the way they had!
But either way.
When I’ve wanted a divorce, my wife didn’t grant one.
Ditto for when she wanted one – well – I didn’t “not grant one” so much as “not be physically there to sign the papers”, but it didn’t happen either way.
Mentally though, yours truly done moved on a long time ago.
I believe my wife is 80% or thereabouts.
And that, my friend is truly what matters – the mind
Mind truly over matter!
Now, don’t get me wrong.
Divorce, seperation etc are not a “set in stone” thang.
Individual situation the way I see it.
It aint good, bad, it ain’t his fault or hers, it ain’t something to be avoided or attracted, it aint any of those.
It’s what works for you – either individually or as a couple.
I mean, whose to say that the husband made a mistake, as I keep getting told?
Maybe I did in a way. But I was nothing if not flat out HONEST in certain ways, including the one area which really, really kills my wife inside and which she will never be able to understand, and what she thinks I NEVER understand (but I do).
And I was nothing if not flat out honest about my past etc, so much so that I blabbed it out on Google Talk the first day I”talked to her.
Hehe. True story!
It sure wasn’t her fault either. Her candor, verve and honesty attracted me in the first place.
To me, sometimes people make mistakes, and you move on if you so choose.
Simple as that.
Right? Wrong? Bad?
Are all the divorcees, divorce lawyers, guys that divorces etc any of the above?
I don’t think so my friend.
I just think that to err is human.
Moving on doesn’t imply not living together, not providing financial support, not takin care of kids, or any of the above.
I remember Maria, my “Jie Jie” once telling me that maybe the reason my wife was leery of divorce was men in China, at least, not giving their ex-spouses any money after divorce despite the courts asking them to.
But it happens both ways.
There have been cases the man is forced to pay when the woman earns 6 x him in the Communist Republic of NewYork, for one …
And as far as yours truly is concerned, money ain’t what it’s about. Never eve rwas.
I’ve given her, and continue to give her money.
That ain’t it for me…
Life, despite what it might seem like to some on my list is about SO much more than money my friend.
So much more …
And long answer short again?
Michael (not the General) Harding (he on my testimonials page) once told me not to divorce because with a kid you never really divorce.
Coming from a divorced guy, I find that … well. Apparently according to him his wife wanted it, and he granted it, but sometimes he thinks he shouldn’t, and what not …
I Dont know, man!
It is what it is for me – for once I won’t addon “for now”, hehe.
But I do know one thing.
And something which is going to sound completely unbelievable given my background and proclivities right about NOW, hehe.
I have no plans of shacking up with someone, or getting into relationships or what not.
Yes, never say never. I know!
But I’m sick of the mess to be honest.
Again, indidivual thing.
But much like MR T, living and TRAINING alone to me is what it’s all about.
No, for those asking, I’m not a full convert to the MGTWO movement, but they do make certain points the rational minded can’t argue with.
Read The Rational Male for more on this. Marc the African Silverback Gorilla recommended it, and you know that if THE one and only GORILLA, hehe, right down to the brawny shoulders does so, he’s doing so with good reason.
And so it goes.
And if you’ve got past all this without yawning. Goodie!
But it had to be said, and now I have, so for those with this question, guess where I’ll direct them in future.
Best savethis one before the computer crash, hehe. Seems that is getting more and more common by the day. Dani, my translator told me the same thing happned to her system, and I can understand the frustration.
As Charles said, “at least you know how to fix it”.
To which I’d respond the following.
“I don’t just know bro. I learned, and it wasn’t in college either”
School of hard knocks, and that is the best school ever, and on that note, grab some “school of hard knocks” products right HERE, bro.
They’ll get you in the best damned shape of your life, no punches pulled.
Guaran-damn-teed, and I don’t know about you, but ID ont say that a lot about life in general!
PS – Stay (or get, actually) in tip top condition without investing a whole bunch of time either by doing what I tell you in Advanced Hill Training. Sometimes,my friend, more is indeed less!