Monday, 13 September 2021 07:07

"My mother told me ..."

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I once briefly - very much so - dated a girl named Ashley (so was her English name). 

Eyes full of naughty candor, hidden desire and more - yet, externally (and I dont mean clothes etc - she wore the most revealing clothes ever) - you'd be forgiven for thinking "Prude Central". 

She was of course the same dame that ... ah, but lets recap it in brief.

When we went on our first date, it was a movie we watched, and dinner etc too I believe. 

Well, actually not - that was second maybe. 

Before that, we did something - I can't remember what. 

And as she dropped me off in her car back home I did what was normal - absolutely so for me. 

I leant over - gave her a kiss - smack on the lips, and made to leave ... 

WHOA!

Wait a minute. 

Did I just kiss her? 

Felt like a cold sod actually, and I tried again. 

I'd need a screwdriver to pry open them lips, hehe. 

And not the kind you drink either! :LOL 

I brought this up. 

"Ashley, all I'm tryhing to do is kiss you". 

And I went again. 

Gash!

Just hilarious when I think about it, yet the statement she made, half giggling, half serious 

Made me GOOGLE, GOGGLE, and more!

"My mother tell me that ..." then she stopped. 

OK, what did she tell you. 

"My mother tell me that ..." 

OK, like WHAT did she TELL YOU???

"My  mother tell me kiss on cheek, OK! But man who kiss on lips, velly bad man!" 

Or I think, something to the order of "never let man kiss on lips!" 

I think I wrote about this stupidity before, but what I didnt mention - is that I roared in laughter when I heard that. Remember, it wasn't like she was 19 years of age either - over 30, and thats being kind!

I literally ROARED, and eventually she got the joke, so much so that that night when she went back home and texted naughty - one of the texts went "Mommy said that .... " 

Anyway she wasn't a bad person. 

I think she also said "why you no do in movie theater, why you want in car". 

Thats interesting the questions girls have asked me, Carol for one would always ask "why so many kiss in car". 

Well, what else is there to do eh. 

A mans gotta be a man!

And in the movie theater, I dont know - with Carol it was more her telling me "you're not interested in the movie, you want other things!" 

So I did, and always have, nary a movie have I ever actually "watched" with a girl unless the movie is REALLY good. 

But with Ashley that day, I dont know, there wasn't any hanky panky in the theater. 

Anyway, Mommy apparently also told her that (she didnt say this, but that was likely her upbringing) that "men HAVE to "go down there" but for women it's optional". 

I mean really, she bitched up a freaking thunderous thunderstorm over it, when she finally did it,she was nigh terrible at "lo lo" if you get my drift. 

I didnt dare to ask for "go go" either. 

(and, I dont know if she knows it, but for a brief while, I actually had her name on WeChat as "Grand Mother Ashley") 

Then the infamous "cleaning your house" episode. 

I was trying to wriggle out of a date or something by saying "I've got cleaning to do". 

(which I did, and Bozo Schofield wasn't there either to do it, so I, since I did NOT want to call in gaggles of maids - figured I'd get to it and be done with it). 

Ashley thought otherwise. 

"Lets go out! I'll do it for you later!" 

No, I , uh, I interjected, but she showed me cleaning supplies which she had apparently already bought, so that was that. 

When she actually did the cleaning though, I learnt her version of cleaning was to complain every minute while she did it and expect me to join in. 

I was like, if I've got to do it anyway, why wouuld you offer Ashley? 

No answer, of course. 

(not to mention she did a shitty job at it, not much better than my own admittedyl crappy cleaning skills. Wonder where the Bozo was when he was needed, hehe.)

Anyway, needless to say that relationship didnt last too long. 

and shortly thereafter, the infamous hissy at the learning center where she strode in wearing mico minis or something - and complained about the A/C being on16 in the heat of summer. 

Gotta give it to her, brains, I probably had more in my little head than she up there. 

Then again, thats true of Nazi feminists in general, and it's why I teach you how to combat and profit from it as I do - because, I, my friend, have been there, done it, and moved mountains in that regard. 

So can YOU, if you LEARN how to. 

Trust me, so worth it. 

Ashley shows up in several other books not on the site. 

And again, she's not a bad girl per se. 

Looking at her photos, you'd be forgiven for thinking "sheer lust". 

Which she had as well, of course. 

But I never got the "you dont need me" part after she gave me a HJ once. 

I dont want to get too risque here, but as I lay there, relaxed, she started. 

"You dont need me!"  

"You just need ...: " 

Nigh absurd, of course given that ... but not any more so than her statement (she was a nurse in another life) of "men should wash before sex, but I dont need to, because I'm a nurse!" 

Just IDIOTIC to the extreme. 

Of course, she knew precious little about male anatomy, so it maks me wonder what sort of nurse she was. 

Anyway, the "mother told me comment" makes me guffaw every time I hear it, so I Thought I'd share it, being the big bad male I am ... 

And, thats a recollection yes - the Fitness ones, equally inspiring - are right here - 16 Inspirational Fitness Recollections. 

Women dont even get a mention that book, bro. 

All REAL MALE ALPHA MALE - DOG - STUFF!

You'll want to pick it up now. 

i.e. if there is one thing your "mother should have told you", (Ahsley speak, hehe) it is that. 

But mothers and inane advice aside (though often times fathers aren't much bettter) ... 

I saw a sage quote from the Trumpinator's son on Twitter. 

"If they want to mandate everything for the so called health of people, why not mandate proper diet and exercise". 

SAGE. 

And something as y'all know, I've been shouting myself hoarse about from the rooftops ever since last year. 

I mean, do we ever hear anyone talk about health - and fitness - the right way? 

Or even any sort of fitness? 

All panic and panixines that just dont work, and I wasn't shy about saying that on Twitter to him either. 

Anyway ... 

I dont know if Mom or Dad (anyone's) would recommend what I am below, but the BEST thing you can do for yourself now in that regard, my friend, is place the pre-order for Lumberjack "Lodestone" Fitness

This is truly the best and most astounding fitness book I've ever written (almost done - kettlebells remain) ... and given all I've put out as of now, thats saying a hell of a lot. 

You'll want to grab this NOW, my friend. 

Dont delay a second longer. 

Place the preorder NOW - and email when you do, and I'll place your name on that "roll of honor" of DOERS AND REAL MEN TOO!

Best, 

Rahul Mookerjee

PS - Ashley, and the tales I have, not just about her, but in general. HA!

(That one time when I was doing what real men do on the couch after inviting her back, i.e. "cop a feel" (she was bodacious) and she'd keep slapping my hand away because "we need turn light off before make sexy". UGH) 

(and her comments of "you are ENGLISHMAN from NEW YORK" so why you no blue eyes!). 

Like, super ugh ... 

Last modified on Monday, 13 September 2021 07:41