Friday, 29 April 2022 03:59

"Well, since my English is sooooo poor"

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I'll always remember the time when a fat cunt driving on the wrong side of the road pulled up in front of me and claimed "I speak with a "fake accent"". 

Gotta love India, and the insecurities people have over there (which is where I was at the time). 

Hehe. 

I remember my wife later telling me about "her own English being so poor she could barely understand what you were saying, and so of course, the attacks start". 

I remember many other things too. 

A black dude who was standing next to me as I was brushing my teeth, who once famously told me he could't understand a word of what I was saying "though I was speaking English". 

And then of course, the famous TEMB "Tyrone Eric Milakuwhat Blanks" telling me "this is pathetic! Habib Milakuwhat from India - originally - speaks English 10x times better than I ever did!" 

LOL. I've heard that over and over again all my life, but even if I hadn't ... 

Anyway, this morning I got off the phone with an idiot who I never got on the phone with over the past few years. 

He implored me "not to speak English". 

"I can't understand your English", he went in his ghetto slang drawl (which he isn't black, for those reading this. He's orignally Indian too). 

WTF. 

I repeated myself, apparently "he couldn't understand the words I was using", so I asked him why. 

No answer. 

So I told him the obvious, what his thought processes were, of course, that didnt go over too well. 

Then I sent him a ton of texts, but deleted them all because in his own words "he doesn't read texts, he's terrible at replying to texts", but of course, when HE Is busy, he'll text galore and expect me to reply. Hehe. 

And of course, he wants everything done on the phone because that is how he prefers. 

This my friend, is yet another one of those reasons I NEVER get on the phone unless I absolutely have to. 

The idiocy I deal with on a daily basis beggars belief - quite literally. 

From Bozos that can barely speak the language clamiing "my language skills are poor" - though credit to this Bozo, despite being asked several times, he wouldn't use that wording - to clowns that are always too busy for everything - to idiots that think they're better because their Mommy and Daddy gave them a ton of credit cards, and a business to run - into the ground - in most cases. 

Anyway, where am I going with this rant. 

I dont know, hehe. 

The "sooooooooooooooooo " part was something I picked up from a certain Gorilla Girl Sophia whose latest fad is describing guys and girls she likes as being "soooooooooo cute". Hehe. 

I give up. 

But she's pretty cute herself, I'll give her that. 

Anyway, whats the point of this rant, where I barely even explained what I was saying? 

I dont know - idiots galore. 

And it's why I prefer texts and emails over all, there are literally no excuses left in that regard. 

Alright, on with it, I've heard a lot on the 0 Excuses Fitness Videos, and I've had people tell me "they dont understand what I say in certain parts because their English is not so good" (those from non English speaking nations, or non natives, or whatever the politcally correct term is these days) ... but comments on my English. 

Come to think of it, this person that made precisely the same comment about "he didnt understand what I said" probably fits right into the same bracket despite immigrating to the USA at the age of 4, despite being handed his citizenship on a platter almost, ah well, what can I say ... 

Hehe. 

English "Winglish", I believe was the name of an Indian movie they once made, and the insecurities Indians in general have about the language and the colonial hangovers, and "if the British whites spoke it, it must be something to aspire to". 

More BS I dont subscribe to in terms of skin color and that crap. 

Of course, try explaining that to the vast majority of fools out there. 

I give up. 

I'll stick to what I'm damn good at - writing emails in English, communicating in general - and part of the reason people "cant understand me" more and more is the more you write, the better you communicate - and THINK. 

And when your thinking is 10x the level higher than the average Bozo, no wonder he wont understand a word of what you're saying. 

Back to fitness. 

The 0 Excuses Fitness System is by far the most effective and best out there - proof in the pudding. 

And if you AIN'T (emphasis on aint, hehe, as Dr Kolibal once said in class) got it as yet, you're missing out. 

Back soon! 

Best, 

Rahul Mookerjee