Saturday, 28 May 2022 03:59

Nicknames - and what if you can't do squats - and more!

Last night, I had an interesting conversation with the daughter, whose truly growing up to be, despite a couple of other "best efforts" - "little Rahul". Hehe. 

Chip off the old block as John Walker rightly said! 

In that conversation she referred to my wife (her mom) as "Class dene wali". 

For a minute this floored me, though I understood the Hindi. 

It basically, in Hindi, when you say someone "class deti hai" or "deta hai" means - he's taking the piss out of you - or giving you a dress down - or whatever terminology you choose to use - I choose to use the good old fashioned British term "lecturing". Hehe. 

Except, her Hindi is not that good - neither is mine, hers is a little lower on the totem pole, but hey - she's learning Spanish (of course my family wanted her to learn french - go figure huh - one of the most USELESS places to be in my opinion, I would never learn French! - and since I couldn't tell her directly - I used the old mind and got her to do Spanish, which is USEFUL and a damn practical language to learn, and she is! She's doing great at it too) . . . anyway, in Hindi it's "class leti hai", I told her, laughing. 

Then I asked her who this nickname was for, though I had a pretty good idea. 

"Mommy", she giggled back. "Always yelling away!" 

Hey, I get it. My wife over the past few years is like an air raid siren, like a Russian warplane booming in to tear everything to smithreens, just ... I dont know, the typical Nazi feminist "yelling all day long for no real reason". Ugh. 

And in the case of the daughter, always "giving her classes". Hehe. 

Which hey, I dont get away scot free either, I remember asking her how her (my daughter's) swimming classes were going (since I'm not there) - and she replied "fine", and wouldnt give me more details because "Dad gives me too many annoying tips on how to swim, how to do this, do that!". 


That I do!

But we'll get to all that ... 

I then asked her "if Mommy is that, what is your Granny" .

"Lecture deni wali", she giggled back. 

In Dysfunction Central, which is essentially the "family" my daughter is in - there are two levels of escalation - one, the wife - two, the "grandmother" - and given the prattle and incessant DRONE emanating from these two all day long (utterly useless and impractical, most of it, if not all) - I dont blame the daughter for the nicknames. Hehe. 

(apparently Granny's lectures are even worse than Mommy's - the prattle and "drone" even longer, which I sort of agree with, with my wife it's mostly emotional BS (which dont get me wrong, that plays into the Nazi feminism big time), once you get past that, she's quite alright, with my Mom, it's true Nazi feminism Central). (been that way all her life).

yours truly got one too. 

"What is Dad" I laughed back. 

"You're the green tea dene wala!" she responded. 

Or riposted... 

i.e. I'm the green tea supplier. 

Hey, I'll live with that. 

I got my daughter started on green tea at the age of six months. Hehe. I still remember her "bottoms up" with a green tea glass as if it was beer - LOL - tilting the head back and drinking it all up at one shot - like I do with my beer - classic!

I love my little girl. The only bright spot in my entire so called family! 

Anyway - I even named the business after her - so I'll live with the nickname. I like it, actually!

(I'm also the guy who makes it for her, fills up her glasses etc. Hehe). 

Much like I like the Mr Handstand pushup, Ironman, and some other monikers I've been called. 

Much like I LOVE the rather uncomplimentary names I've been called, that list has "swollen" to over 2000 now ... 

(there's a lot of "puns" - intended or not - in this here email you might think, but please - none applicable). 

Anyway, great minds think alike. 

On that note, nicknames? 

I remember a colleague in 2007 (in India) once calling me Rambo for my grip early in the morning. 

"Feels like shaking hands with Rambo!" he went. 

Another guy went as such "It feels good to shake hands with him, it feels like shaking hands with a MAN!" 

LOL - I'll always remember those comments!

Anyway - where was I - ah yes, great minds, and as a subscriber on this list Ben wrote back with an email titled "nicknames", I knew I had to write to YOU about it!

He's been called "Big Ben" , "Thor" , and Tarzan amongst others - as well as "Von" something (a nice German sounding name, hehe - and given him imposing bulk, the "Von Bulk" fits him to a T!). 

I'll take my Da Xing Xing moniker. Hehe. (i.e. Gorilla in Chinese). 


Frivolites aside, I was chatting with Ben the other day - actually, last night - oh, by the way, I finally managed to get WeShat to unblock my ID, turns out it was a problem at my end, apparently the VPN or what not wouldn't let me access their link or whatever. So , not the end of an era there apparently! 

Now, I've written to you about how Ben has pre-existing injuries - nasty ones - how he broke both his legs back in the day, had to have steel rods inserted in them - and so forth. 

Yet, he does, and does DAILY. 

His form on squats was what I noticed first, and as I wrote about before, that was BEFORE I knew the extent of his injuries, given what he is working with, he's got plenty of leeway on form - which truth be told his form isnt that bad, he just can't go all the way down in terms of squats. 

Which is fine. 


I've - and he has too - seen perfectly healthy guys muck it up WAY WORSE. 

Personally, I feel most people can and should do squats - their entire life. 

And in proper FORM!

But yeah, if you've truly got pre-existing injuries such as implants which (ouch!) dont let you go all the way down in squats, then you do what you have to - you improvise, adapt, and OVERCOME!

That is what Ben has done. 

(a true DOER). 

And he doesnt prefer squats so much these days as he does other exercises - his favorites? 

The Animal Kingdom Workouts style of training/conditioning - and hey - Tarzan - or Big Ben - what have you - I dont blame you, bro. 

Thats another one of the most brutally effective training programs out there - martial artists for one use those sort of training regimens all the time, and there's entire FIGHTING techniques built upon that sort of thing as well. 

If you've seen Bloodsport, and the guy from Africa jumping around in a squat, you'll know what I mean. 

Thats monkey style martial arts...

But anyway, if you can't do squats, alternatives? 

To me the squat and pushup reign supreme, period. 

There is in my opinion NO alternative to heavy duty high rep squats - NOTHING, I repeat, NOTHING - gives you the core and mental work - and the fat blasting effect you get from squats done in high reps. 

The motion "ass to grass" cannot be replicated as well by any other movement. 

There is a reaon the Gama did these daily without fail. 

Ole Steve Austin once said "if you only have time for one exercise, squat. I dont care what else you're doing - if you squat heavy, you'll grow!"

And that truly is the bottom line Steve-o. Hehe. 

He's right tho. Look at what Matt Furey said in Combat Conditioning about "if you're not doing squats, you're not really doing combat conditionng". 

He's right. 

But again, alternatives? 

Frog walks for one are brutal - frog JUMPS - ultra so!

I often do these between sets of squats and jumping rope. 

Then you have Ben's favorite step ups - which many great athletes have used over the ages as well. 

Then, "box jumps" - where you put a box - or small sitting table or whatever in front of you- and just JUMP up and over it - and back again. 

GREAT workout, although not one I'd recommend for everyone. 

Then, another one I have not spoken about a lot - but will be there in Advanced Plyometrics - lunges done in a plyometric manner. 

These REALLY make you sore!

Last, the "knees to chest" movements I keep talking about in Corrugated Core .. 

Lots of alternatives, all pretty brutal - but none replaces the almighty squat in my opinion, much like what I wrote about yesterday in terms of pull-ups - nothing really replaces the good old fashioned PULL-UP - with palms pointing OUT. 

Anyway - thats the ramble for now. 

Hope you enjoyed it. 

Trust you did. 


I'll be back soon!


Rahul Mookerjee

PS - Pick up the 0 Excuses Fitness System HERE.  

PS #2 - Bloodsport was a great movie! Ole Donald himself loves it, he once told his son, I believe then 13 to "skip past the rest of the movie" and get straight to the fight scenes. 

I dont blame him. Hehe. That is what I watch all the time myself!  (and the (in)famous Van Damme "I") 

(true, Bloodsport isn't real life fighting as in you dont just stand around and wait to be kicked, haha - true, it was more of a Van Damme showpiece than anything else, but Van Damme himself is an accomplished kickboxer for one, and the movie, well, it just worked on so many levels, especially Bolo Yeung, just CLASSIC!)

(y'all should see ole Iron Mike going at in in the IP man series. Fists vs martial arts, hehe. And I'll take the fists ANYDAY in real life!).