I was recently on an international flight (pre COVID, of course).
Which seems like forever, of course.
And my passenger right next to me squeezed into one of them economy seats (I ALWAYS make sure to grab an aisle seat, NOT the window or the middle seat! ?) was an obese, corpulent and FLATULENT burping SOB from India (who didn’t even have the most basic manners apparently).
And this abomination was finding it hard to fit in the airplane seat for obvious reasons and kept dislodging yours truly’s arms from the arm rest until I firmly put it there, looked him in the eye once and refused to budge.
The guy near the window seat was apparently having a hard time with him too.
Anyway, dude didn’t speak much English or any at all.
(So much for the “general good English level” in India; believe me, it ain’t what the causal reader might think! ?).
And as far as manners go . . .
. . . he was apparently a bit of a drunk, and every time the waitress (a Chinese lady from Hong Kong) got near to him he burped and said the following loudly.
“One more!”
And the way he said it made me think he was talking to a minion as opposed to a stewardess. . .
Funny part was this though.
She asked him what meal he’d prefer and he didn’t understand what she was saying in terms of language, but understood what she was asking.
And when he replied, she couldn’t understand him - - in either regard.
She looked at the passenger next to him.
He tried.
I don’t know where he was from, but she couldn’t understand his accent either.
And of course, guess who ended up translating everything for the rest of the flight.
“He wants a chicken meal”.
“He wants more water. Thanks! (since the guy apparently didn’t want to say it to her)”
“He wants another shot of whiskey”
And the last one didn’t need to be repeated too often. Dude picked up on it, and he kept going “One more!”
Ugh!
A slob if there ever was one, and if you’ve ever heard air hostesses complain about their passengers, believe me, there is something damn good reason.
Anyway it works both ways, of course.
Air India, which I’ve often flown in the past (and STOPPED flying a few years back completely) is (along with Royal Jordanian) in my UNBIASED and very NOT humble opinion one of the, if not THE shittiest international airline out there.
The stewards and stewardesses don’t even look like they belong on a flight.
I still remember the TV screen not working once on one of these flights.
Told the steward.
He shrugged. “Oh, so what. Nothing we can do! Just make do!”
Or “Oh, just try that seat over there” (when my seat arm rest wouldn’t work right).
Or, and this was the apex of all this . . . I wanted a couple of beers.
And lady came up to me, and dumped not two, but FOUR beers in my lap.
She grinned at me.
“You’ll want it anyway, and I don’t want to be bothered again!”
And off she went, waddling her lard ass down the aisle . . .
UGH!
Anyway, I didn’t write this to you to warn you about what airlines not to take, hehe.
I did a version of the “one more workout” out there with my daughter today.
“One more!” I went.
(She knows the story, and she LAUGHS a lot every time she hears it)
And as her little hands did another bar hang, I kept saying it.
One minute more!
One rep more!
And the same thing will work for you too my friend.
You don’t have to be a former U.S. Marine drinking with yours truly to say it either! ?
If you can currently bang out 50 pushups before you collapse, try saying “Just one more!” to yourself as you NEAR 50.
Not before the workout.
But as you get to maybe rep #45, or 46, but ideally, right on around 49.
Chances are you’ll hit not ONE more rep, but FIVE more if you do this right! ?
And that my friend is a tip for the ages. Have at!
Best,
Rahul Mookerjee
PS – This works great for getting your numbers up there in the much vaunted, almighty Hindu squat as well!