Often times when I wake up in the middle of the night, I “feel something”.
Like a PRESENCE.
Sometimes it's benign. Sometimes the feeling is “that it's there”. Something it's “he's sitting on my bedside” (this past April).
And sometimes, it's downright scary – like the “hag” who showed up next to me - - and that I “saw” right after I woke up ... an experience that still, weeks later gives me the goose bumps.
I can still remember the face so clearly, the crazy spiked hair and so forth ...
And yet, sometimes, the worst dreams are actually the best to have for reasons that are way too profound to get into in terms of this email.
But back to “visits”.
I've made no secret of the fact that my family and me are usually at loggerheads with each other over just about everything.
There isn't and never has, as far as yours truly can recall any love lost between the two sides.
My childhood days are mostly those of “you damned problem child!” and so forth, and I've written about that before, and of course, when I was old enough to “retaliate”, I did.
A “cold war” of sorts that lasts until this day. Sometimes thats how it is. Sometimes thats for the better, believe it or not!
And the signs all point towards me “having to write this” as I am, so I am! Right now ...
Anyway, there were a few people who actually understood yours truly when he was “wee little”.
In ways that were never direct, but the signs were always there.
For instance, my Uncle who once made the comment about my “voice being good enough to be a singer”
I still remember him, standing in front of the dressing table saying that (while of course most of the rest of my family ridiculed it as “being rubbish”).
Or my paternal grandmother, for instance, who did all she could to help me in ways she could ...
Goddamn it. I hear a “whistle” outside. Made by a person that does all she can to “disrupt” my flow of thought whether she knows it or not! She does, actually, but thats a different story.
And so, right now, as I gather my thoughts again ...
... My maternal grandfather, who liked pretty much everyone.
And the fourth being, but we'll get into that later.
All of the above three people had positive things to say about me for the most part.
And while obviously a balanced “appraisal” contains both negative and positive, the overwhelming vibe I got off these people was POSITIVE. As it should be.
Especially for young kids.
And curiously enough or maybe not, these were the very people that I, due to whatever reason (actually I know, but I won't get into it here) spent the LEAST amount of time with.
Funny how that works eh.
But the VIBE cannot be denied my friend. No matter what we're talking about.
Neither can gut. Or instinct.
And as these three people passed on, they're “always there with me”.
Whether it's my deceased uncle who often appears in my dreams in ways that would terrify the average person, or my paternal grandmother warning me of dangers to come (which oddly enough or not are sometimes related to one's own FAMILY – and believe me, those “dangers” DID come! Like clockwork, except I was prepared for them), I often receive “visits from them”.
Dr. Lamar is the fourth individual, a kindly “old” man I met wayyyyy back in the day at the age of 19.
Despite all our fights, arguments and everything else he did all he could to help me (and I really needed it back then!) and I will always remember him for that.
He went down to the plague from China, unfortunately ...
It's unfortunate, but true.
Us “survivors”, and the people that truly “care”, and at the end of the day, we're the one left standing, but is it truly US?
I believe it is, but we're there for a reason.
To carry on the good fight, my friend.
Those that “couldn't” or those that the eternal spirt DEEMED necessary to pass on, and probabaly re-appear in one way, shape or form will probably do so then ... but they left us with the BLESSING (no, I am NOT a religious person in any regard!) to do what we do best.
And in my case, that is to say it like it is.
To create businesses based upon GUT, often on the fly, upon a moment's notice.
Some of my other businesses right now – well, let me just say that even if I TOLD YOU what they were, you would never believe it!
Such are the ways of the Universe, my friend.
Tune in, and yer shall see.
Ok, enough of the spiritual “stuff” I hear you say. Fitness?
Well, here it is – and believe me, when you start knocking out them Hindu pushups in high numbers ...you'll KNOW why I call it the best damned fitness system ever!
PS – I'll have more on this later, as well as details (excluding personal details) on a call I recently went through with one of the members on my exclusive 0 Excuses Ship group – stay tuned! (and no, it isn't for the average Joe or Jane, and especially not the tyre kickers or those with a 'down' mentality. I don't train “dead people” as that line famously went in the movie, but if you've got a WILL to improve – and a pulse – and a willingness to get down to brass tacks and just DO IT – then you're my man (or woman!)).
PS #2 – Apply for one on one coaching here.