Tuesday, 04 July 2023 16:32

A true blue story of "el tigre"

Replete with meat blood and everything. But hang on, before that, a bit of background - 

I believe I was in an apartment those days, so I had everything to cook with, microwave, oven, slow cooker, fry daddy - everything - and though the toilet would sometimes get "backed up" (Glyn, where're you when needed - ugh) - the fridge worked pretty well. 

El Tigre usually had a case of beer chilling in there at the very least, as well a lot of meat and cheese, some broccoli etc too. 

Now, that night the girlfriend wasn't with me. For one, someone had driven her car into a ditch I believe or something, so it was at the repair shop so she couldn't come over, and second, she was spending girl time with some Miyako, or maybe "Mieko" - who knows. 

So I was at home myself, and had some fresh salmon I was going to cook with lime juice and broccoli. Four pieces, simple, effective... 

I had a bunch of "beast ICE" (they no longer make that brand - Milwaukee's BEST ICE, hehe) - neither do they make Southpaw from what I hear - and I then put the meat (or fish) on the foil, started cooking and such. Smelt pretty good when done, I bit into it, but damn, there was a strange taste to that fish, before I knew it, I was sick as a dawg. 

Jeremy, a friend of mine told me "the one good thing after throwing up after having a bunch of beer" - pour more down. 

Them the wild man days - not that I'm any saner now. 

So thats what I did. I didnt much feel like eating - at that point - so popped in Hannibal or something, then I felt like eating later. 

So, trusty ole Papa Johns to the rescue, since it was 1130, no-one else would deliver I think. 

And that brings me to the tale, now I order LARGE 14 inch pizzas with extra meat and cheese when I do, and garlic bread, but for some reason or maybe I was too hungry, the meat seemed a tad less. 

So I pried open the freezer. 

Saw a round of "chuck" beef - remember those? Not you Charles - hehe 

Popped it in the microwave (I'm well aware of skilleting it till it turns pink etc but remember, I was pretty toasted) figuring "its heat, it'll cook just as well". 

It seemed to. 

And when done, I gingerly poked the side to see if it wasn't too hot (I didnt want to burn my tongue like I once did my thumb when putting out a cigarette with it). 

OK ... 

I bit into it. 

And I still remember the RAW beef - and the taste of blood, literally .. dripping down my chin. 

Memory's a bit hazy beyond this, I'm not sure what I did, if I tossed the entire bowl of meat, or cooked it properly the next day, but thats true tiger like living - or "wolf" like, as my Uncle calls me - haha. 

And we've all had those stories of falling asleep on the toilet after a drink too many, eh. Hehe. 

Them were the days, they're still here to an extent, except my fitness routines dictate I dont down a fraction of the brew I used to back in the day - but when I DO sit down to drink, I can outdrink you under the table - guarandamnteed. Just ask my buddy from the Marines, and our beer drinking sessions till 5 AM in the morning which his wife never let him "live down". LOL. 

And thats the tale of the tiger. 

I remember his friends cautioning him about bacteria and such, and they were right - I was lucky I didnt end up in the ER or worse... 


I dont recommend doing those things - but we've all done 'em ... 

Crazy is what ultimately works, crazy people are ultimately the real achievers. 

I wouldn't go as far as Steve Jobs who reportedly cooled his feet in the toilet - wtf - but I've heard Glyn Bozo for one (no kidding for one) likes to touch his fat butt to the bowl - literally. Ugh again. 

Aint no accounting for taste... 

ANd thats that, friend. 

Animal Kingdom Workouts awaits you. Get in the best animal like shape of your life - QUICK! 


Rahul Mookerjee